3 Reasons I Embrace Child Support

Most men I know tend to have a negative view of child support. Of course there are all sorts of reasons for that, but I’m not sure if that completely justifies it. After all, there was a reason the United States Congress enacted the program in 1975; mainly to decrease government money used on welfare by ordering the non-custodial parent (the parent that doesn’t have custody) to support their children. I’ve had a Child Support order since January of 2017. I have a 7 year old son who I love dearly and I’m very active and present in his life (Physically & Financially). I received the initial summoning in the mail a week before my wedding day. I remember immediately going to the steps of my apartment and crying. I felt like it wasn’t fair, and I hated that I had brought my wife into this as well. I didn’t even know how to tell her. It’s been a little time since then, and after a couple of court objections and joint custody hearings, I’m at a place that I can embrace child support, and I have 3 reasons why.

It Was My Sin That Caused It

I was 17 years old when my son was born, not even done with high school. I was immersed in a culture that didn’t see anything wrong with sex outside of the bounds of marriage, so I had a low view of sex and commitment. It was normal for a boy like myself to lose his virginity at 13, and spend a huge amount of his teenage years pursuing sex with no desire for commitment. If it were not for my conversion, I suppose I would have never stopped this behavior. I was enslaved to what I wanted the most, I was enslaved to sexual pleasures. I wanted sex but not a life long commitment that honors the whole woman. It was this behavior that resulted with the conception of my son. Which in my view, is a direct sin against him because every child has a right to a committed Father and Mother. I took this right away from him. He never asked to be here, but oh how much he has to come to terms with because of my sin.

Child Support Honors My Son

My son won’t always be 7 years old. When he is 17, I want him to know that nothing ever prevented me from being active and present in his life; not even finances. It would be easy to be bitter about the Child Support program, to be angry with Hamilton County Job & Family Services, and also with his mother. But none of these are my enemy. The government isn’t out to get me, and It is totally appropriate in circumstances like my own to handle finances in a trustful way. I have had to remember to put my son back into the center of the situation. It is he who needs my financial support, I have a duty to see that he gets it, and if he is neglected then I have failed him as his father. The only real enemy is myself. If I take the focus off my primary duty to financially support my son, If I resist Support orders because I think it’s unfair, and If in bitterness I refuse to give him the support he needs, then I dishonor him. I don’t want him to believe that finances was something big enough to keep me from being his father.

 It Honors God & Jesus Christ

It is one of my highest pleasures knowing that it pleases God when I support my son financially. God loves my son more than I ever will. I know that it honors Jesus Christ that I Support my son still. Jesus death on the cross covered all my sinful pursuits of sex without commitment, and it released me from my enslavement to sexual pleasures. He changed me, gave me new desires, and calls me to live differently. As it is, He commands me to take the responsibility of being a father to my son. In the case of Child Support, that means giving financially. When I was unsatisfied with aspects of the Support order, I appealed it. When I saw the need to protect my parenting rights, I filed for joint custody & visitation rights. But regardless, as fathers we have a responsibility to support our children financially. And when we do this, we honor God, and we demonstrate His character. I know Child Support orders are complicated, and I also know that the system isn’t perfect. But there is no arguing out of financially supporting our children; we are their fathers.

5 Comments

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  1. His 3 reasons were written by the man he has become and now is.

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  2. Marq is my grandson and I’m so proud of the young man he has become and he has been supporting his son for most of his 7 years so a child support order is something Marq has been doing all the time. He has never been a dead beat dad and I am so proud of him Love you Marq

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  3. Sharon Hunt Scoggins June 19, 2017 — 12:12 pm

    It is truly not a governmental issue it is right, to do and be right. Children once conceived are a responsibility. Yes, people should be aware that sex causes babies, even protected sex can cause a child. Being a teenager with a baby, was also my experience; Once my child was born, my whole perspective changed, because I realized that my daughter had needs that both parents should be responsible for. I applaude”all” parents who handle the God given gift of their child, with financial, moral, emotional, spirtual,educational, nurturing support etc… any and all help that a parent can give to assist and shape their child to become a successful, contibuting, functioning person, towards accomplishing all that they can and choose to be. Parenting is a commitment and a sacrificial choice but well worth it. I applaude your attitude and willingness Marquavius, to be an example to other men, speaking out about the issues of child support and co- parenting, which are two of the greatest issues facing all communities across the United States.

    Liked by 1 person

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